As I stand before the cracked, frozen creek. I kick Agape to cross it. She steps foreward, hesitates and stumbles backwards. I do what I can to coax her forewards, first I was gentle, asking her to move, letting her smell it, stand and think about it, then asked her to move.
She stepped foreward, and once breaking through some ice, backed up, not wanting to cross it. I got off of her, and tried walking her across, but nothing…she just stood there, staring at my with her big brown eyes, terrified to cross this creek. Although she crossed it that morning, she was not having it now. And I wanted to cross it, one of my favourite trails is across the creek and I knew that once we crossed this little creek that is only inches deep that we would get there. Her on the other hand was not moving. She did not want to move past the point in which she deemed as safe.
As I stood, staring at her, I went from trying to woe her to being frusrated that she wouldn’t cross it. Why didn’t she trust me? Why could she move past that point to where I stood? If I went before her, wouldn’t she just automatically know it was safe?
I tried everything I could think of and when all else failed. I turned around, got on her and took a different trail.
In the midst of this, the Lord spoke quietly to my heart,
“When you do this, I continue to woe you. I do not get impatient but yet I stand with you, reaching my hand and if you do not take it, I let you take another path, knowing that you will end up here again and maybe next time you will trust me enough to take my hand.”
I stood there as I was humbled. Thinking of the many times in which I was relunctant to go where He was asking me to go, when I was set on choosing my own way because it involved less risk. I stood there queitly as He reminded me of His unfailing love for me, and that even when I say no, He say’s yes and waits for us to wait on Him. I am thankful that the Lord did not give up on me at the many creeks in which I would no cross, but that He continued to woe me and build my trust in Him so when I was brought back to that creek, I was able to look to Him rather than what surrounded me, not by my strength but by His grace. For once we surrender ourselves to the Lord, we learn that whenever He asks us, yes is always better than no. No matter how tough and scary it is, yes to the Lord will always bring forth much joy and thanksgiving.
For Our Lord knows what’s on the other side of the creek we are scared to cross. Although we may have been at that cross roads before, the Lord is trying to lead us across the one in which He knows what lies past it.
For many times we say we trust the Lord, but do we actually trust Him enough, that when we face a scary situation we leap into His arms rather than backing away, shaking our heads, saying, “there is no way I am crossing that, no matter what He does to coax me into it, I am not doing that.”
For the Lord is patient with us. Although I wasn’t with Agape, the Lord reminded me that He continues to woe us even when we are afraid. That He does not force us or beat us, but yet patiently stands there, gently reminding us that His ways are greater than our own and anything we could choose alone would not lead us to something better. He is a Father who loves His children with everything He has. He longs for us to choose Him and even when we don’t get our prayers answered or what we think we deserve, that we learn to worship Him continually and thank Him, because His plans are far greater than anything we ourselves could hope for.
For the Lord is not slow to fulfill His promises, but we must be standing still ready to recieve them when they are coming to pass. For so often we demand from the Lord and when we don’t feel as though He is listening or that we are getting the short end of the stick, we walk away. We decide that if He wanted to show up, He would and if He’s not, well I don’t have time for waiting and I’m better off without Him.
We get into a mindset that we deserve something from the King of kings and Lord of lords. We forget that He is the one whom unfolds the plans of our lives and there is nothing greater than waiting on Him, in His timing rather than our own. But it takes us to commit to Him, daily, so that our trust in Him may be strengthened and when it comes to those moments that we hesitate to cross it, we will look at Him and be encouraged that no matter how much we don’t want to take that risk, He is worth it and He would never lead us somewhere, where He Himself has not gone.
For there were times I sat and cried out to the Lord, earnestly seeking Him, yet those prayers were answered now and not then. However, even in those moments of crying out, feeling dissapointed that God was not answering me, I realized now that He has brought me to a point in my life where when He answered my prayers, it’s all for His glory and not my own. For often when we cry out and seek Him, it is never for Him but always what we want or rather what we feel we want or need at that moment. I however am learning how thankful I am that the Lord moves in His timing and not my own. For if I got what I wanted at that time, it may have hindered me from learning to trust in the Lord no matter what and remain faithful to Him even when I could not see.
Continue to be faithful to Him who is faithful. Continue to seek His face even when you don’t feel it, for He is with you and He cares for you. Continue to stand in faith, trusting in Him to do greater things. For He is continuing to work all things for good to those who love Him and trust in Him.
Even at that creek today, although I knew what laid ahead and desperatly wanted to go there-she did not. I can only try so much but her will is also involved in it. I will continue to try because I know that the more she trusts me, the more willing she will be to come with me no matter where I go, no matter how terrifying it is, she will learn to look to me rather than her surroundings. But trust takes time, it takes effort and it takes stepping out in faith.
“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD” Psalm 27:14
Just like Peter when he stepped out of the boat onto the raging sea to walk to Jesus, his faith was what kept him afloat until he decided to take his eyes of Jesus and onto his surroundings.
I pray that Our Father reminds you of His unfailing love for you, that you are able to experience His faithfulness and goodness. May you learn to trust in Him and His leadings rather than your own and by His grace, His timming as well. In Jesus name, I pray that you learn the beauty of waiting upon the Lord and walking by faith even when you’re scared of the next step.
For what lies ahead is greater than what the situation may seem to threaten and choosing Jesus will never lead you astray. For He will bring us to moments where we are to trust in Him, where we are to stand in faith, despite what we may see, in order for us to choose Him rather than ourselves-for us to call upon His name and depend on Him wholly.
No matter what you are facing, no matter what prayers you feel aren’t being answered, no matter if you feel that God is not with you-take heart and remember that God is for you and He is not slow to reach out His hand to you-it just may not look like how you envisioned it, but I can tell you one thing, whenever you wait upon the Lord and continue to worship and praise Him, He will teach you far greater things than if He were to give you simply what you asked. He longs for our whole lives to be surrendered to Him, not just moments-for He desires to cultivate a life of obedience and love, where no matter what storms we are faced with, we will stand with Him and choose to look to Him rather than that which lies ahead.
“And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Mark 12:33
“But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to ou on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out o the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when Peter saw tge wubgm ge was afraid and begginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”. Matthew 14:27-31