There is a part within me that wants to be free.
That may sound odd to you,
And it sounds odd to me too. Maybe because I can’t explain it or word it in a way that others or I can understand it at times.
When others ask me what I am going to do when I am done camp at the end of the summer,
I have no idea. Not even a clue. So I’ve started to jokingly say, “Running with the wild horses.”
And although it sounds crazy, I think there is something deeper behind that answer and why I thought of it.
For there’s a part of me that wants to let my heart be free.
Free in the sense of embracing the adventure of life as it comes by living and trusting in God Almighty. The Only One who can truly bring any of our desires to life.
For I am tired of trying to control what God is in control of and plan my days when His ways are far greater than my own.
I want to live by faith, even if others don’t understand…even if I don’t understand.
I want to live freely for the Lord, to let Him guide my steps and prepare the way.
Which is scary for it leaves so much unsaid until the moment comes.
It leaves me trusting in a God who reveals the next step only when it needs to be seen.
Which is hard and even harder for those watching. For people want answers, they want to know that you have things under control, that you have a plan, that you are going to do something with your life.
I am coming to see that sometimes walking by faith doesn’t make sense and it leaves a lot of things till last minute and that’s why its called faith. For you are not relying on yourself but God who is unseen.
It brings me to my knees waiting on Him, trusting in faith that as He has promised, He will make straight my paths.
For I don’t know what being wild at heart means. I don’t know what it entails. I don’t know how to be wild at heart when the world around me is trying to make me choose my next step and answer questions as to what I want to do with my life when I have no clue anymore.
I want to travel the world, ride horses and love the lost, the broken, the hopeless, the poor, the prisoners and those around me.
I want to hold parentless children and tell them how loved they are.
I want to gallop through open fields and feel the wind through my hair.
I long to see others healed from the inside out and to come to know their value as children of God.
I want to go for long drives with good company.
I want to watch the sunrise on mountain tops and the sunset on the ocean shores.
I want to let my heart be wild.
However I have come to see that it is a lot easier to be said than to do.
For I wonder how do all these things come to pass?
Are these desires selfish, are they irresponsible, are they foolish, are they me trying to get out of actually figuring things out?
What will I do with the next season of my life?
What career do I want? Where have my dreams and passions gone too?
For I once had a vision of what I wanted to do with my life and now as I look to the next season, I don’t see anything.
I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t know where I want to go, and I don’t know what God wants of me anymore.
How do I let my heart be wild when I feel I should be doing what those around me are, such as going to school, having their careers figured out and settling down. And it isn’t that I don’t want those things because I do, but for some reason they haven’t become clear to me yet.
When I say wild and free, it is not in terms as most of North America think; such as going out to bars and partying, but rather wild and free to live fearlessly for the Lord.
To live set apart from the world and able to do the desires placed on my heart.
To go where He calls me to go and to do what He asks me to do.
To enjoy the simplest of moments and not be held back by others to live a confined or comfortable life apart from God.
I see being wild at heart like the wild horses and I think that’s why deep down my answer to others is to run free with the wild horses.
Because I want to be like them in their faith and trust in God.
They run freely through the open land, trusting in the Creator to provide.
They drink from the streams which flow abundantly and eat from the lushes green fields.
When times get tough, they keep moving, keep seeking for what they know is out there.
They live as they were created to be – wild and free.
God created them as they are and they embrace that. They do not change to become like other animals but rather radiate the true creatures they are. They do not chase anything apart from who God made them to be.
And to me that gives me passion, gives me hope that I too can be who God created me to be. For He created each of us with a unique heart and beautiful call. And that will look different for each of us, but we are able to live freely doing so, trusting in Him each step of the way.
For the wild horses live together and protect one another.
They enjoy the simplest of moments and sleep under the stars.
They are relentless and do not give up when times get hard, but persevere.
For it is easy for us to try to control our lives, to plan the next step.
But wild horses don’t do that, they live in the moment and trust that the next step will come when needed.
They don’t think of the days to come or whether they will have enough food, they live in the moment and that is all they know.
Living wild at heart isn’t easy, for it is trusting in the Lord each step and not always knowing the next one or planning it out.
But rather enjoying where we are and waiting for the next one to be revealed in God’s timing.
I guess I am writing all this to encourage you to be wild at heart and I guess to encourage myself too.
I want us to come to know who God is and realize all we are able to do with our life by His grace when we live in such utter faith.
He created us to live with a purpose.
He created us to trust in Him each step and enjoy the days as they come.
He loves us and longs to provide for us, but first we must be willing to let Him.
We must be willing to let go of control and leave it up to Him.
For the wild horses don’t plan out their days, they don’t control the number of their days.
They live by the means they have been given and let God be God.
May you be wild at heart.
Letting your heart be free to desire more than a comfortable life but to run free with the Lord as He calls you too.
There is a life of abundance in Jesus when we let go of our desire for riches on this earth.
For I believe being wild at heart is letting Him hold onto all that we are trying too, all that we try to control when we really can’t.
To enjoy each day as it comes and live with those who are with us.
To dream dreams that only He can bring to pass and to do it all for His glory.
For I have no doubt that He looks down at the wild horses whom He created and see’s His glory shinning through them.
For they are living how He created them too be – wild at heart, showing His majesty and radiance as they gallop through His creation and His power as they live looking to Him for all they need.
May we learn to be wild at heart, to not be held to the expectations we feel placed on us but to look to the Lord and trust in Him.
I am not saying to be reckless or carefree and to not take responsibility for your life. I am not saying to quit jobs or drop out of school. I am saying that the Lord has created each of us with a purpose and through that purpose we can live freely for Him. To surrender our own expectations and look to Him. To no longer try to control each move of our life but to live abiding in Him. We can do those things wherever we are and in our day to day lives. I am saying that we are to be stewards of what He has given us and to bring Him glory through the way we live.
Being wild at heart is knowing who you are through His Son Jesus Christ and choosing to seek first His Kingdom and righteousness so that your life may bring Him glory and bring others a glimpse of His beauty to those around you.
May you be wild at heart and never let that passion within you die but may you be strengthened by His strength to do what He has called you to do and created you for.
For I believe He has created me wild at heart. He has placed within me a heart that nothing on this earth can satisfy but that keeps me looking to Him. He has placed within me a heart for adventure and whatever that entails I pray that I will fearlessly live my life depending on Him and walking by faith, even in the things unknown and the days ahead.
“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?…So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:25-26, 31-34